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Relationship Conflicts from the Perspective of Masculine & Feminine Energy: Relationship Polarity

Power and Vulnerability are two opposing forms of Influence on human behavior. They are fundamentally different, yet perfectly complementary. Understanding this will help you stop your relationship fights.

Couple fighting, relationship drama

Relationship Polarity Emerges out of a Universal Law

Yes, there's the intellectual content of the conflict (trash, kids, vacation, "not listening", etc.) - the surface level of the conflict.

The deep-level cause of the conflict is the Nature of how Man and Woman try to INFLUENCE each other.

"What the hell are you talking about?" you might ask.

To understand Relationship Polarity, you have to understand the Law of Polarity first.

Everything in the physical Universe is subject to the Law of Polarity:

Everything is dual; Everything has poles; Everything has its pair of opposites; Like and unlike are the same; Opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree.

Whether it’s hot or cold, it’s still temperature.

Whether it’s light or heavy, it’s still weight.

Whether it's male of female, it's still gender.

"Same, same, but different." they say in Thailand.

In the relationship, mutual Influence of partners is an inevitable fact for both partners.

You will inevitably change as a consequence of your Woman's presence in your life. And she will inevitably change because of your presence in her life.

You Influence each other. This Influence, fortunately, has a structure.

Two animals fighting, resembling a couple fighting at times.

Structure of Influence: Power and Vulnerability

The 2 poles of Influence are Power and Vulnerability.

They're together in a yin-yang relationship.

ACTIVE INFLUENCE is Power (or Leadership).

PASSIVE INFLUENCE is Vulnerability.

But whether it’s Power or Vulnerability, it’s both a way to affect the other person: thus Influence.

"What does this mean in practice?" you might ask again.

Masculine and Feminine Energy in Communication Is Determined by Intention

Active influence is Power (or Leadership).

Leadership is communication with an intention to get an outcome.

(Metaphorically speaking - it's a painter who creates a painting with the intention to get an outcome: sell it for $10.000.)


- Tell me this.

- Don’t do that.

- My expectation is.

- That’s great. That's disrespectful.

What happens when two people meet and communicate with each other - both of them wanting a different outcome?

They have a competition over whose outcome wins.

The use logical arguments, force through body language, even physical force.

They try to lead each other into accepting their own point of view.

In other words - they're in a conflict.

On the other hand, Passive influence is Vulnerability.

It’s a communication with the intention to express without getting an outcome.

(Again, metaphorically speaking - it's a painter who creates a painting with the intention to express without getting an outcome: painting the truth of their inspiration or what they're feeling inside).

Vulnerable communication is so deeply impactful on a Man, especially from a Woman, that his Instinct almost gives him NO CHOICE but to react to it.

Think about your 5-year-old daughter Sweetheart looking at you with puppy eyes at the edge of tears, begging you to buy her an ice cream. You can be an alpha male CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but unless you're a psychopath, you'll still have an internal fight about that ice cream decision.

This powerful influence of your thinking/behavior exists NOT BECAUSE "it's a child". It exists BECAUSE of the pure, innocent, and trusting Vulnerability of the child.

Your Woman is capable of communicating with you in that pure, innocent, and trusting Vulnerability too and it affects you differently than when she's trying to get the outcomes for herself from you.

For example:

- Can I share a problem with you?

- Can I have some help?

- I feel sadness.

- I am struggling with getting this done.

- I wish to go to the cinema.

- I need a hug right now.

These are all Vulnerably expressed Problems, Feelings, Needs, and Wishes.

There’s NO INTENTION TO GET AN OUTCOME with expressing, it's an expression for the sake of honoring herself through expressing her internal feeling state - just like the artist.

However, when two people meet and none of them wants to get an outcome, what happens?

I call this - the "Desperate Housewives" situation:

There's no one to decide about the outcome, and since some action has to be taken eventually, there's emerging tension about who's gonna do it. Vulnerability gets twisted into helplessness and there'll be a weird kind of competition about who's a bigger victim so the other one makes decisions and takes action.

I guess it's getting clearer, how this applies to relationships.

But before I tell you in detail, one thing has to be cleared...

Couple in a beautiful harmonious hug, powerful relatinoship polarity.

Comparing Power and Vulnerability is Absurd

"Which one's better?" you might ask "Power or Vulnerability?"

Well, that's the same as asking...

"Which is better - hot or cold? Light or Heavy? Man or Woman?"

It's an absurd question, isn't it?

This is what radical feminists don't get.

(They believe they have to "take Power over" so they restore the gender imbalance. They're subconsciously rejecting their own Vulnerability because they see it as inferior, trying to compensate for it with Power, paradoxically creating even more imbalance.)

Power and Vulnerability are fundamentally different, yet perfectly complementary.
They are two opposing forms of influence on human behavior.
Why when they work together, they create Harmony.

Yin and Yang.

Hot and Cold.

Masculine and Feminine.

When you apply Masculine & Feminine Energy and Language in your relationship, you resolve your power struggle.

You influence each other in a fundamentally different, yet perfectly complementary way. The Harmony that emerges manifests itself as Attraction, Love & Respect.

Men are Wired for Leadership, Women are Wired for Vulnerability

Energetically and biologically speaking, Men are wired for Influence through Power. Women are wired for Influence through Vulnerability.

Let's assume this is a pattern and let's call it Relationship Polarity.

This pattern has shown up spontaneously during the thousands of years in cultures all around the world that had no contact with each other whatsoever.

The theme appears in mythology all around the world and it makes perfect sense from the biological, hormonal, and cyclical nature of Men and Women.

Maybe, it's not a social construct. Maybe it's just our instinctual nature.

So when the mutual influence in the relationship happens harmoniously, following our instinctual nature...

Woman Influences her Man by Vulnerably sharing with him her deepest Feelings, Problems, Needs, and Wishes; she inspires her Man to take care of her which fulfills him and her both; she feels seen, loved, and cherished; and she grows her devotion to him.


Man Influences his Woman by laying out clear direction with his Leadership; he Leads his Woman towards achieving her highest joy and potential in life which fulfills both him and her; he feels honored and respected in his decision-making and problem-solving; and he grows his devotion to her to serve her better.

Conflict gets resolved fast.

There's deep Attraction, Love, and Devotion.

In my opinion, this is a normal way of having a romantic relationship.

This is how we, Men and Women, are wired to relate to each other.


Struggling with repetitive conflicts in your relationship? My free .PDF guide reveals the secrets to increasing Relationship Polarity and restoring passion. Learn why leading your woman resolves fights and creates attraction. Download now to understand the Power Dynamics that determine how much respect, love, and fulfillment both of you get in your relationship.


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