The Masculinity of today is in crisis.
“Men are the perpetrators. The tyrants of women and of the world. There is too much masculine energy.”
And the cherry on top of all this crap: “Toxic masculinity.”
Too many men today feel so much fear, that they just obey.
They obey their women, their bosses, their own teams, their clients, even their children.
But most of them will disagree.
“I’m just being nice.”
So let’s be brutally honest for a second.
Why REALLY are you nice?
“Well, nothing can go wrong when I’m nice, right?”
Let’s keep the honesty a little longer. What do you REALLY expect when you’re “just nice”?
“Well, if I sacrifice my needs and do everything right, I’ll be taken care of in return. Somehow. Right? It will work itself out. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Right? I don’t know…”
The REAL answer is way simpler than that:
“I’m afraid. I’m afraid to ask for what I want because I might hurt someone with my desires. So I’ll rather play small, play nice, and hope to get at least something in return.”
These men are nice out of obligation. That’s not niceness. That’s obedience.
They have so much fear stored inside them, that they can’t even connect with what they actually want.
So they’re nice and expect the other party to give them what they want, without them even defining it.
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Obviously, the potential of entitlement is growing on the backburner:
“So I gave you everything you wanted and this is what I get in return?”
…or the even worse one…
“I gave you everything you wanted, so now I am taking what’s mine.”
Lack of clarity on what men truly want and fake niceness is the REAL TOXICITY. In both business and love life.
“Toxic masculinity” is not an excess of masculine energy, but its lack.
Author is a Men’s Coach, helping male high-achievers master their mental, emotional and sexual confidence to drive their results in business & love life.